everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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