Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
We named our party play list daddy issues
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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