Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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