Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
