Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
