Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
