the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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