Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
