Will you blow on my dice?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize