My brain says no but my pants say off.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
