He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I would ride that face into the sunset
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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