I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
