Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
