I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
