You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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