Me. At least after what I've been through.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
