O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
