You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
