he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
