Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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