wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
