I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Alive.
So much puke
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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