You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
