You're my little dorito
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
