Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
