PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We need to get me chipped asap
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
