Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just pee around me
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
