Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize