I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
