My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
