Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
