Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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