just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
