sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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