How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Come see our sink grown plant.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
