Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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