I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
