Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
