Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
