it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I party with great urgency now.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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