Well douche your snatch and let's go!
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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