i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
