This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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