shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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