"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
