Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
