Capitaan dildo arrescate!
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Randomize
