It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
