Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
