Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
