awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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