Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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