Nicole vs. Life
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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