I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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