More tranny stories later!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
