You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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