i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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