Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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