weddingsv make me drug and hornr
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
