She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize