he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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