some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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