just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize