I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize