i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
