Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
