umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
